editing my subscription

Imagine getting a free sample of a magazine. Somehow it was just plopped on your doorstep from some unknown person but it somewhat piques your interest. Curious to know more, you subscribe to it and realize that it seems to have all the promise in the world. A lot of promise, a lot of cool fancy wordage that could convince any other open-minded individual to pay the monthly subscription fee just to learn more, at least for a little while.

At some point, after several months of receiving the magazine in your mailbox, you understand the magazine–you’ve come to know what it will talk about and know how each different writer’s voice sounds. You’ve even thought that the magazine’s articles are filled with information that you think can make your life better, even if you don’t agree with a couple opinions of the people writing the articles and a couple stances of the magazine itself.

Now imagine that one of the editors of said magazine calls you once a week to make sure you’re reading the content, understanding and accepting it. And every so often, that editor asks you, “Are you willing to take what our magazine is saying, implement it in your life, write articles every once in a while and be an advocate for it forever?”

At first, you question it unabashedly while still going along for the ride. After all, you’re curious to see what happens. Next, you actually think “Hey, this could actually work. This is fun! I’m being enlightened!” And following that, you’re on the brink of  actually taking the plunge and sign up for the lifelong subscription, even about to write articles and tell everyone you have found the one thing that completes your life. Thus, you surround yourself with everything that is about that magazine: the people, the writing and printing process, and even attending the swell parties the magazine and its employees throw with their subscribers frequently.

Then a few things become glaringly obvious…

The magazine publishing industry is brutal–especially with this particular magazine. Editors are picky and sometimes even fix your “pride and joy” article that doesn’t even resemble its old luminous self. Then the other writers rejoice when your articles match their own “unique” voice. Opinions are battered back and forth, some align and others are completely perpendicular. Each magazine competes for your attention and when you turn your attention solely to one–it’s almost isolating. You hate that isolation; you want to learn a lot more but now you feel limited. There is a sense of home with the magazine, but at the same time, you’re like a 19 year-old craving to leave the nest.

But then you realize that it is just a magazine. What the magazine talks about are things that you can learn and figure out on your own without the bias of those few writers whose opinions don’t match yours. Sure, what the magazine has taught you thus far has changed your life for the better… but there are still those discrepancies. Discrepancies that aren’t good enough to make the commitment of a lifelong subscription and damage your freelance writing ideals. At least not at the moment.

So you do something that they may not like… you reduce your subscription from monthly to every other month. You still want to read and stay connected to the magazine because it still has some great articles. But you also want to read and perhaps subscribe to other magazines with similar messages, to hear more perspectives. That’s what a rounded education is about.

After all… you’re still you. Being a lifetime subscriber of the magazine isn’t a choice you’re so willing to make so lightly and so soon. Heck, there is even a lot more beyond the magazine industry that can provide enlightenment as well. There is still the world of novels, poetry anthologies, newspapers and tons more that you can be reading!

Your exploration and discoveries have only just begun.

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Where to Have Faith

Where’s the fun in being obedient?
This is right. That is wrong.
Who’s to really decide? God? The Universe?
Why not find a nice middle ground
where you can do both right and wrong
but not be judged but loved either way?

Because, when it comes down to it,
we are all doing our goddamned best.
We all make choices.
Some are wonderful and help the world.
Let’s face it… some are admittedly stupid
yet we can learn from them–
but that doesn’t mean we have to condemn
those actions that teach us the most.

We shouldn’t have to be forgiven
for our mistakes–we are human.
Those apologies are mostly to ourselves
and if I fall to saying sorry to myself
that would mean I regret what I do.
Fuck regret.
Why dwell so harshly on the past?
Why not embrace it all–
every last depressing, degrading and delicious
moment that makes us who we are?
Then we can move forward
with new knowledge, sometimes new strength,
to never forget but take it in stride.

So where’s the point in being obedient,
having faith where you disagree?
Why not have faith in ourselves,
that we can make it through anything
so long as we believe in own abilities
to make decisions based on experiences?
Have faith in family and friends,
the people you love and who love you.
They can help you too…
You never have to go it alone.
Just look over your shoulder
and at least one will be there for you.

My belief is that mankind is inherently good,
no matter color, attractions, beliefs or background.
My belief is that we all have a right to be free,
an innate right to be able to choose
the roads we may face, which signs to follow
and what part of the sky we want to fly to.

Have faith in yourself, because at the end of the day, that’s the faith that can matter most. 

Ideal Day vs. Actual Day

If you didn’t know yet, I decided to start a “personal discovery” category here on Something Write once I discovered the blog of Enemy of Ordinary. A lot of times through writing comes a lot of self-discovery and lots of jumbo like that. On her blog, I found this post about “changing your story” and decided it would be cool to do it.

So here’s part three of that endeavor: my comparison between my Ideal Average Day and my Actual Average Day.

Stuff that’s the same:

  • Talk to my mom.
  • I bring my own lunch.
  • Check social media and YouTube (I know, I’m an addict).
  • Do Pole Fitness or Zumba… because a girl needs her sweat.
  • Write a lot for mostly work.
  • Having TV or my iPad as background noise so it’s not too quiet.
  • Clean up and read before bed.

Stuff that’s different:

  • Wake up naturally.
  • Do a little more creative writing.
  • Work from where I want vs. in an office… which affects my wardrobe.
  • Being in a show and rehearsing during my evenings.
  • Living on my own.
  • Dating someone
  • Playing an instrument for at least a little bit.

Underlying wants discovered through this exercise:

I like my structure, but flexible structure is ideal as is evident from my want to be able to work from anywhere. Being more into my passions like music, plays and more creative writing is always a good way to spend my time. My health is clearly a big part of my day, like with healthy foods and getting in a workout (not really new). Of course, I want to move out and have my own place. Badly. If only that were the case. As for the dating someone part… I just want someone to love and love me back. Basic human want right? ;)

Kind of an interesting activity… now it’s your turn! Feel free to share your links below!

Ideal Average Day

Wake up naturally at 7 a.m. Wash my face and toss up my hair. Grab a sweatshirt, my laptop bag and head to Starbucks. Have a latte while reviewing my script, writing one of my WIPs, possibly an article that I didn’t have time to finish for a client yesterday, and trying to avoid the suck of social networking (sometimes failing). Making small talk with the person sitting across from me every so often.

At 9:30, I have phone meetings with my supervisors at the companies I write blogs, social media stuff and any other copy they need; figure out the plan for the day. After those are done, I head to a park by my little house and turn on my phone’s Wi-Fi hotspot so I can work from the shade of a giant tree. Perhaps I look up and watch kids play on the jungle gym for a couple minutes. Check on social media probably more often then I should, but I’m making pretty good time on my work projects so I allow it.

Once my stomach grumbles, I pull out a pre-made lunch with fruit, a thick turkey sandwich and plenty of water while continuing to write away. Turns out I forgot my Zyrtec so around 2, I start to itch a little so I head home to work from my couch. Turn on my TV for background noise, preferably something I’ve already seen. Snack on veggies and hummus. Get some inspiration for a blog/poem/song and quickly write it down so I don’t forget. Mom calls to ask how everything’s going since I’m not at home anymore. Get distracted and respond to comments on blogs/Youtube. Continue working until 5.

And it’s time Zumba or Pole Fitness where, as always, I have a fantastic time. Quickly stop at home to change, clean up a little and grab a quick bite like a chicken salad. As I’m on my way to play practice, I warm up my voice and run through my lines. Rehearse from 7 to 10. Try to void the gap between the leads and the ensemble, mingle on down moments. I heart my fellow cast members. Probably get a little crap from the director about something I didn’t realize I was or wasn’t doing so I write it in my script so I don’t forget again. Leave feeling so excited for the show to start performing soon since it’s progressing nicely.

On my way home after rehearsal, I call the guy I’m seeing just to hear his voice. When I get home, I play the piano (or guitar) for 20 minutes to destress. I make sure I have at least one meal ready for tomorrow. Take a nice, warm shower. Hop into bed and read until I want to fall asleep… hopefully by midnight.

So that’s my ideal average day. Seriously reading it back to myself sets me at ease. I’m thinking that’s a sign that it’s definitely ideal. :) So next up is the comparison between this and my Actual Average Day. Could be tomorrow or Saturday, depending on if the Free Write Friday prompt inspires me. More often than not it does, so….

What’s your ideal average day like?

Actual Average Day

Alarm goes off at 7:45, I turn it off and roll around my bed until I pry myself out at 8. Pop in the shower quickly. Get dressed in my work clothes, generally slacks and a nice sweater or button down with a lace tank beneath. Put on my makeup and either toss my hair up or scrunch it for beachy waves.

Grab my purse, computer bag and workout clothes. Retrieve yogurt, cheese, apple, grapefruit and any other food from the fridge that I may need through the day. Get in the car by 8:35, do my four-point turn to get down our driveway.

Drive to the office. Tell yet another person that the only elevator that goes to Social Security is the first one… the one with a big sign. Check social media. Fill my 32 oz cup with water several times over the day. Composing corporate blogs, radio spots, emails and help manage social media and our website. Sometimes checking in on Twitter or Gchatting my mom about my plans. Eat the lunch I brought at my desk while writing for myself, tracking my food online and checking up on blogs/tweets/FB. Keep doing what I did before, perhaps meet with my boss for a moment (or five). Leave at 4:30 or 5, depending on when I get done with everything.

Head to Pole Fitness/Zumba/Yoga and have a great time. Drive home. Read and lounge until dinner is ready. Eat dinner with my mom and step-dad and/or my brother. Head upstairs. Check YouTube, contemplate recording a song while chatting with people on Skype/Facebook, write something for Something Write if I haven’t yet, read online articles and blogs… all while listening/watching my favorite shows on my iPad.

Realize it’s 10:30 so I wash my face, brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Settle into bed. Check on Dragonvale. Read a YA novel on Kindle, maybe a scripture or two. Roll over approximately seven times and fall asleep.

I got this idea from Enemy of Ordinary. Tomorrow I will write about my Ideal Average Day. Then I will compare the two on Thursday to figure out what I would need to change to get there. Sound good? Good. :D